Our little girl has arrived safe and sound and my world has new colour ever since. This pregnancy was hard and in so many ways, her arrival feels like redemption – like a new morning, after a dark night – like a fresh start.
My dear beautiful, perfect girl,
I have no words for the joy I feel, to finally hold you in my arms, healthy and happy. You were so worth the ride. You complete our family and you are such a blessing. When you were born, spring finally came, the sun has been shining all week, the trees turned green. Today is Easter Sunday, there is new life everywhere now and all of that feels very, very fitting.
Birth, newborn life and shifting into a family of five has had it’s challenges, naturally. But we are so lucky to have you and we are so thankful, cause life looks pretty good with you in it.
You are a dream come true.
I love you always and forever,
P.S: Ihr lieben Mitlesenden, DANKE, dass ihr die Geschichte unserer kleinen Tochter mitverfolgt habt. Danke auch für alles Mitfiebern, Anfeuern und die Vorfreude. Ich mag sehr gerne mehr erzählen (z.B. ihren Namen, hihi) – wenn du mehr wissen magst, dann schreib mir einfach. (In einem Zeitraum zwischen den nächsten zwei Stunden und den nächsten vier Monaten werde ich garantiert antworten, hehe.)
Baby, Baby, Baby.
I know you have some weeks left (almost three!) to prepare for your arrival, but after yet another sleepless night, tossing and turning with pain and discomfort, I am just SO ready for you to make your grande debut early. You know?
But I trust you more than I trust my own impatience.
You know better when the time is right, so stay put for as long as you like. In the meantime, I will soak up every last minute of my last days and weeks of my last pregnancy. I feel very ready to never be pregnant again. The constant stomach aches, the overboard tenderness, the insomnia and aaaall the little pains – I am so ready to leave this all behind. But I know I will look back at this time with nostalgia, knowing it was OUR time, the time when you and I were close constantly and my body did this amazing work of helping to build yours. So I’ll try my best not to spend the rest of this pregnancy impatient, but in wonder and gratitude. I was never so close to the finish line. We’re almost there, Babe. Almost there.
My sweet little Baby.
So as of this week, I can officially go to the same hospital, where your sisters were born, if you decide to come early. For me, that was kind of the deal breaker. Meaning – as of this week: you can come whenever you are ready. I’m ready, too. Yes, there are still appointments (docs and acupuncture and last things to organize). Yes, there are still shopping lists (how many diapers will you need in that first week??). Yes, there are still texts and calls and yes, there are still older kids to pick up from Kindergarten and to entertain – but honestly? All this can wait, if you decide to come. (But I totally get it, if you decide to stay put for a while. You have some weeks left, after all!) Either way: I’m ready, whenever you are.
Oh Baby, it’s getting real over here! I’ve been washing and folding Baby clothes, it’s been fun and soothing and I am getting just sooooo excited for your arrival! There are some last things to do (always), but we are heading towards the finish line and this hungry Mama is ready (to be able to eat normal again. Also to see your lovely face. Definiately in reversed order.)
In the meantime, I will fold tiny Baby clothes and dream of you.
Oh, sweet Baby,
I made so many well-intended plans for this pregnancy. Working out regularly to remain strong was amongst them. Now I just realized: if I spend thirty minutes cooking without the chance to sit down – that totally counts as work out!
(And let’s not forget all the stairs in our house, the daily Kindergarten pick up and last but not least the two big sisters, that keep me on my feet!)
So yeah. Next week is my last Yoga class and after that, I will call it a „work out“, every time I cook. Sounds good to me!
Oh, dear Baby,
your Daddy and I watched so much of the TV Show „Suits“ during this pregnancy, I would not be entirely surprised, if you were born with a tie, a glas of whiskey in your hand and a kick-ass-attitude, just like the lawyers in „Suits“. I wonder, if I should play you the theme song as a lullaby to help you sleep, once you are here. I also wonder, if you are already fluent in English (with all the legal terms, of course). And I wonder, if you learned some of Harveys tricks and adapted some of Donnas genius. We’ll see. The season finale is near and I am not sure, how life will continue afterwards.
(Then on the other hand, this pregnancy’s finale is also near, so I do know exactly, how life will continue afterwards. Oh yes!)
Also: as it happens, you are due right along with the new royal baby in Duchess Meghans belly. Yes, that Meghan, who played Rachel on „Suits“. This will of course be either your royal best girlfriend or maybe your future husband. I know, Baby. You are welcome.
Let’s enjoy the rest of the show!
(both: „Suits“ and this pregnancy! Yeah!)
[practicing to think about nothing]
My dear Baby.
Birth is a difficult topic. I fully believe women are made for this. We are perfectly capeable and birth is as old as humanity itself – it should be the most natural thing and no big drama. I used to wonder, why people would tell their horror stories unasked, but ever since I survived my own horror story, I understand the impulse to warn other women. I feel like – yes, it should be a natural experience, where women connect deeply with their instincts. But I am also aware, that there are a lot of circumstances and surroundings playing a role, too. (One of them being, that we as modern, empowered, organized and oh-so-strong-willed-women are not used to and no fan of letting go of control. Ahem.)
So, when I approached your Dad with the idea to go to a hypnobirthing workshop, he once again prooved to be a stellar husband. He had no desire whatsoever, it was costly, both money-wise and on our weekend-time-resources, but he agreed anyway. So last week, we spend two days learning about hypno-methods (really just another term for focussing or meditating or being relaxed to the max). We talked about our last experience and the traumatic aspects of it, we talked about what we want to approach differently this time and most importantly, we talked about being open to whatever might happen, cause ultimately, it’s not eniretly in our control. Just like about everything else in parenthood is not entirely in our control.
And you know what? Beside spending time as a couple, the best part about it was – it got us so excited for the time of your arrival. We will plan and hope and pray and prepare and relax and let go of control and we might have a good experience or we might have a bad experience – but in the end: We will meet you. And we are beyond thrilled for that.
P.S. Whoever is interested and local – I highly recommend Eva Steffgens workshop in Mainz. It was relaxed, down-to-earth and we just a great weekend with her!
…oops. Can you please stay down there until April? I will definitely pick you up in April. I promise. But right now? No way.
My dear Baby, please excuse me while I use this belly growing diary for a moment to make a public announcement: help wanted!!
Dear reader, whoever you are, I have a question for you. Since I currently prepare for life with three children, with a head full of ideas for my creative work and an apartment that has two floors (practical annoyance), I feel
desperate dedicated to make the household/life maintenance/family management workload as easy to tackle as humanly possible. So. I am looking for all the tips and tricks I can get. Anything.
I’ll offer you my best trick in return: this last year I started laundry day and instead of having to do laundry always (and it never ends), I do all of it on Monday (and Tuesday, it depends) and then I am done for the week. I’ve heard of the „one load a day“ method, but this works far better for me.
Oh and I copied a golden trick from my friend Lena (hi Lena!): I make my bed every day. It seems unnecessary to do something for the sole reason of prettiness (it won’t feed anyone after all!), but that is also the luxury of it. As the belly grows, I dread it, cause I’m uncomfortable, but if my bed is pretty and my kitchen is clean (only clean room in the house, but always clean), I feel like I can do life.
So now it’s your turn. Tell me what you do, that makes domestic life easier! You don’t have to be a mom. You just have to be a person that lives somewhere other than a Hotel. ;)
Everything is appreciated! Thank you so much for your help!
My dear Baby, I started a pregnancy Yoga class.
You know? The time every Tuesday where I am really very relaxed and chill. It’s good! But it’s new and it’s also – uhm, a little weird. But moving, relaxing and practicing to find inner calm and quiet is much needed as I prepare for your arrival.